Monday, July 2, 2012

On Becoming An Illegal Citizen

From: Sam R.
Sent: July 2, 2012
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: Fw: On Becoming An Illegal Citizen

On Becoming An Illegal Citizen
On Becoming Illegal.
You'll love this!

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa
resident sent to his senator,)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the
Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for
your assistance. I have contacted the Department
of Homeland Security in an effort to determine
the process for becoming an illegal alien and they
referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status
from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill
which was recently passed by the Senate and for
which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
United States for five years, all I need to do to
become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income
taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally
have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited
about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This
would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using
the local emergency room as my primary health care
provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for
medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be
that my daughter would receive preferential
treatment relative to her law school applications,
as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve
me of the burden of renewing my driver's license
and making those burdensome car insurance premiums.
This is very important to me, given that I still have
college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process
to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies
of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance Your Loyal Constituent,
(hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just
a bonafide citizen of the USA)
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040

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